Pirate Monk Podcast

Episode 172 • Embarassment, Guilt, and Shame

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Certified marriage & family therapist and author Ramon Presson takes us into the darkest days of his life and helps us all look out the window at God's answer for guilt and shame.

Our Guest

Ramon Presson is a clinically certified marriage and family therapist for over 20 years and the founder of LifeChange Counseling and the Marriage Center of Franklin. From 1989 to 2004 Presson also served as an ordained minister and assistant pastor in churches in North Carolina South Carolina, Florida, and Tennessee.

A native of North Carolina, a teenage Ramon first met Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, at Chapman's Winston-Salem church. After graduating from Wake Forest University with a degree in psychology and later from Florida State University with a Master’s in Counseling, Presson returned to serve on the staff in the church’s counseling center and there renewed his relationship with Dr. Chapman. Many years later, in 2002, they would collaborate on the Love Talks trilogy of books for couples and families. “I thank Dr. Chapman and I credit the co-authorship of those books for opening many of the subsequent doors of writing and publishing opportunity I’ve enjoyed. I’m quite honored that Gary agreed to write the foreword for When Will My Life Not Suck.”

Ramon lives with his wife, Dorrie, and teenage sons, Trevor and Cameron, in Thompson Station, Tennessee, a pleasant drive into the country south of Nashville.

Follow him on Facebook for the laughs and the insights.

Ramon's Books



When Will My Life Not Suck?: Authentic Hope for the Disillusioned

Is this as good as it gets?

Personal crises and disappointments have led many to the pessimistic conclusion that "my life sucks." Underneath the contemporary slang are universal and timeless questions about the human condition. People of every age, in every kind of circumstance have wondered to themselves and others: Will my life ever be better than this? Is this as good as it gets? This book is an honest and compassionate look at the real struggles we face in a broken world where bad things do happen. Dr. Ramon Presson, a licensed marriage & family therapist for 30 years, describes his own significant personal struggles, including hospitalization for depression. Using the letter that Paul wrote to the Philippians from prison, Presson shares that hope and joy are possible even when life disappoints. Full of practical suggestions for how you can live with purpose and meaning right in the middle of your everyday struggles, this revised and updated edition of When Will My Life Not Suck? is a hopeful treatment of human suffering from someone who has personally lived it and counseled others through the wilderness. [Paperback] [Kindle]

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Recovering from Divorce? [Paperback]

Love Talks for Families [Paperback]

My Coaching Journal [Paperback]

My Counseling Journal [Paperback]

The Roles of a Lifetime [Paperback]

Music Used

Our fellow Pirate Monk, Dan Hasletine, and his band Jars of Clay present "Work".

Purchase the music from Amazon or iTunes.

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Episode 171 • After the Miracle

ANNOUNCING: Nate Larkin is hosting a national Samson Society weekend intensive focused on positive sobriety. Interested? Click here to provide your email address. You'll be the first to know all of the details when price and schedule are announced. All of the podcast Buccaneers will be there. Click to receive more information.

 

Nate Larkin's own Silas, worship pastor and author David Hampton, climbs up into the treehouse for episode 171. They guys talk about what happens AFTER the pink cloud of early sobriety disappears. How do you maintain passion for recovery? How do you deal with those around you who either aren't used to the new you or keep expecting you to revert to the old you?

Our Guest

Though the first bullet point on his resume would include almost two decades as a worship director at a prominent Nashville mega church, the greatest impact of David Hampton’s career and narrative isn’t summed up so neatly.

David’s life story is certainly highlighted by his prodigy-like talent at the piano, his awards for songwriting and musicianship, the songs and hymns he has published and recorded, and traveling with a host of well-known music artists. However, David found the theme that emerged as he became more successful was one that he would never have chosen or written into one of his melodies—and one that ultimately would offer life, hope and healing.

The twists of his wife’s suffering with a progressive and eventually debilitating disease and his own subsequent spiral into alcoholism began derailing what, at first, seemed like a storybook life. David recounts his days as a “professional Christian” trying to spin the plates of a very public ministry life and a serious addiction to alcohol with candor.

David’s journey into recovery brought more than just a means by which he learned to live without alcohol. He became keenly aware of his spiritual bankruptcy and all the unaddressed questions of his faith and lack of it. His story includes how he entered recovery, incorporated spiritual guides from ministers to monks, the sensory overload of fresh sobriety, and determining what parts of his old belief system would make it into the renewed version of himself that was emerging.

 

Music Used

David Hampton's latest project is Fuel Music Group's "Split the Sky." Listen to the full song here:

Purchase the music from Amazon or iTunes.

We'd love to hear from you. Please take a few minutes and answer questions on our listener survey. You'll be entered for a drawing for a free, autographed copy of Nate Larkin's book, Samson and the Pirate Monks.

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Please tell us what you think by leaving a comment below, scrolling to the bottom and leaving us a voice mail via Speakpipe, or call (615) 807-0476.

Episode 170 • Can Men Be Friends with Women? | Recovery Men's Ministry Samson Society 12-Step

In Episode 170, Nate, Newton, and Mark welcome Englishman Joshua Jones to the microphone. He discusses how we can build genuine relationships with the opposite sex that DON'T threaten marriage. Is it possible? Is it wise?

The Book

Forbidden Friendships: Retaking the Biblical Gift of Male-Female Friendship

Forbidden Friendships presents the case for why Christian men and women not only can but need to engage one another in deep friendship and how to do so.
In the name of integrity, walls are being raised that keep us from meaningful brother-sister friendship in Christ. While personal boundaries can be healthy, these generalised divisions are not Biblical nor these rules in line with Church History at its best. Contrary to their promises, we are not safer from sexual immorality by adhering to them - we are more at risk.

 

 

Movie Referenced


Music Used

The Official Motion Picture Soundtrack, When Harry Met Sally

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Episode 169 • Questions from Listeners

In Episode 0169, Nate, Aaron, and Mark attend a mini-meeting then answer some questions from our listener survey. (1) Is there such a thing as casual porn use, like casual drinking? (2) How do I handle going to the beach? Watching TV?

Mini-Meeting

If you're looking for resources to start a Samson Society meeting in your area, check out these resources. Feel free to comment or leave a voicemail with any questions you have.

Chess

Aaron told a great story about his son, Elijah. Check out this picture.

Super Samson

Nate and Aaron mentioned a funny video of things that can go right... and oh so wrong... at a Samson Society meeting. When this video resurfaces, we'll post it here.

Changing Lanes

Nate mentioned this movie in his checkin during our mini-meeting. Stream or download here. [iTunes] [Amazon]

Watch the clip mentioned here.

Music Used

"In the Light of the Common Day" by Phil Keaggy

 

We'd love to hear from you. Please take a few minutes and answer questions on our listener survey. You'll be entered for a drawing for a free, autographed copy of Nate Larkin's book, Samson and the Pirate Monks.

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Please tell us what you think by leaving a comment below, scrolling to the bottom and leaving us a voice mail via Speakpipe, or call (615) 807-0476.

Episode 168 • Confession and Healing

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On episode 168 of The Pirate Monk Podcast, the guys welcome author, speaking agent, and fellow struggler on the path, Wes Yoder, Our conversation may meander, but we will touch on confession, sorrow, lament, healing, fathers, and Elvis.

Show Notes

Bond of Brothers 

by Wes Yoder

 

Wes Yoder is the founder and President of The Ambassador Agency in Franklin, Tenn. He is also the local representative for The New Canaan Society which has groups across the nation. Click here to find a group meeting near you.

 Quotes Used

Wes referred to The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. In this novel, Lewis paints broad pictures about our entry and existence in heaven. It's worth the read. A third-party summary of the section on heaven is:

In The Great Divorce Lewis paints a picture in which the closer we get to God, the more real everything gets. Hell (the farthest place from God) would only be the size of a pebble on earth, earth the size of a pebble in heaven. When souls first arrive in heaven, their appearance is as ghosts. Their forms have been expanded, like blowing up a balloon, so that they match the size of things in heaven, but they are like empty air. A body is outlined but they are transparent and so weightless that they cannot bend the grass beneath their feet (it feels like needles to walk on), nor sink in water, nor pick up a heavenly apple from the ground. Those residents of heaven who come to greet the ghosts have been filled with the fullness of God’s Divine Being. As God is more solid than anything on earth, in Lewis’s vision, so these people are more solid, more real, and now more fully human than any human being in our world.

[Order]

Michael Card, a mutual friend of Nate Larkin and Wes Yoder (and one of our favorite songwriters), wrote a book and a set of songs on lament.

[Book] [Music]

Wes made reference to a number of authors and recording artists his career has crossed paths with. If you're curious, check out their work.

Ralph Carmichael

Dale Evans Rogers

Paul Harvey

Pat Boone

The Imperials

Randy Matthews

Scripture Used

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

James 5:16 ESV

The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

Genesis 1:2 ESV, emphasis added

Wes commented that the Hebrew word for "Spirit of God" in this verse is in the feminine gender. Check out this online Strong's Concordance entry for more information.

Music Used

"Dang Judy" by Blues Counsel

"Samson" by Blues Counsel

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Episode 167 • Step 1

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On episode 167 of The Pirate Monk Podcast, Nate and Mark go for a virtual walk with microphones on to discuss the first step of the 12 Steps.

 

Show Notes

Nate brought up three books worth having in your library.

The Big Book: Alcoholics Anonymous

[Free] [iPhone App] [Amazon]

The Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions

[Free] [iPhone App] [Amazon]

Find Samson meetings here. Find AA meetings here.

The Good Book and the Big Book

[Amazon]

 

Quotes Used

Nate quote Martin Luther from his writing called "Two Kinds of Righteousness." The full quote is as follows:

There are two kinds of Christian righteousness, just as man’s sin is of two kinds. The first is alien righteousness, that is the righteousness of another, instilled from without. This is the righteousness of Christ by which he justifies though faith, as it is written in I Cor. 1:30: “whom God made our wisdom, our righteousness and sanctification and redemption.” In John 11:25-26, Christ himself states: “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me.....shall never die.” Later he adds in John 14:6, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” This righteousness, then, is given to men in baptism and whenever they are truly repentant. Therefore a man can with confidence boast in Christ and say: “Mine are Christ’s living, doing, and speaking, his suffering and dying, mine as much as if I had lived, done, spoken, suffered, and died as he did.”

Scripture Used

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

John 12:24 ESV

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell."

Matthew 5:27–30 ESV

Music Used

"California Dreamin'" by The Mamas and the Papas

"The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" by Relient K

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Episode 166 • Cycles

On episode 166 of The Pirate Monk Podcast, Nate shares a personal challenge and we take two phone calls from listeners like you.

 

Show Notes

Aaron shared a quote by his co-pastor at Vintage Community Church.

Nate also said, "Don't go toward isolation to get out of a cycle."

If you feel stuck in a cycle, Nate offers these four ideas:

Tracking your sobriety and serenity. Some groups use chips. Some individuals use a Sobriety Counter app [iOS] [Android] to track their "one day at a time."

Keeping a Gratitude List. Write down everything—big and small—you're thankful to God for.

Service in Obscurity. Nate told the story of a man who picked up trash in the Walmart parking lot as a way to serve without anyone patting him on the back.

Get your butt to a meeting. Find Samson meetings here. Find AA meetings here.

 

Scripture Used

Romans 1:21

 

Music Used

"California Dreamin'" by The Mamas and the Papas

"The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" by Relient K

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Click here to take the listener survey.

You will be entered for a random drawing of a free copy of Samson and the Pirate Monks.

0165 Gospelicious (aka Gospel Grace)

Nate Larkin and the guys welcome Erik Guzman, Vice President of Communications from Key Life, to discuss transformation by the gospel even in the midst of recovery.

Show Notes

Read more about Erik

Read Erik's article series on addiction

Drunk Believers

Pain is Your Friend

Beauty from Brutality

The Gift of Addiction

Order Erik's new novel, The Seek: A True Myth

 

Resources Discussed

TED Talk: Everything You Think You Know about Addiction is Wrong

Johann Hari

Delighting in the Trinity by Michael Reeves

Key Life Network

Steve Brown's Daily Thoughts: You Think About That

Ep164 • Best of 2015

Listen back to clips from the top three listened to podcast episodes of 2015.

The number three most popular episode of 2015 was #161, "Cross Road" featuring Ken Snyder.


Click here to listen to the entire episode #161 "Cross Road."

Find out more or order Ken Snyder's book, Cross Road.

In this clip, Ken addresses the spiritual benefits of recovery and how he brings the Gospel into the process. Nate, Aaron, and Newton talk about community and the standards in their recovery program.

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The number two most popular episode of 2015 was #153, "The River of Denial" featuring Nate Larkin.



Click here to listen to the entire episode #153 "The River of Denial"

Subscribe to the Walking Lessons podcast by Nate Larkin.

In this clip, Nate addresses ten strategies we employ to deny our problems and addictions.

Ten Strategies for Denial

1. Minimizing
2. Comparison
   
3. Create a Diversion
   
4. Distraction
   
5. Blaming
   
6. Working
7. Pick Another Area in which to Succeed
   
8. Fantasy
9. False Repentance
10. Absolute Denial

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The most popular episode of 2015 was #159 "Where Do I Go from Here" featuring Greg Oliver and Adam Calvert of Route 1520.



Click here to listen to the entire episode #159, "Where Do I Go from Here?"

In this clip, Greg and Adam discuss the first steps of safety for a man struggling with sex addiction in one of its many forms.

Take the self-inventory discussed in this clip.

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If you live in Tennessee, please click here to help us plan our retreat coming up April 15-17.

Ep 163 • Dating God

Show Notes:

In this episode, a look at Stage 4 of The Path as expressed in the charter of The Samson Society. (Download the Charter here.)

Encouraged by my Silas and others, I develop the daily disciplines of prayer, study, and self-examination. I abandon self-help, asking God instead to do for me what I cannot do for myself.

Nate shared an article by Tim Challies. Read the article here.

Download Psalm 23 in several translations here.

Special Request:

The guys are taking a break for Christmas and New Year’s, so we want YOU to be the guest on the next podcast. Will you please call us and tell us:

What did you see God do through Samson Society or your recovery this year?

and/or

What was the best tip or quote about recovery you heard this year?

Call (615) 807-0476 and leave a voice mail. We'll choose as many as we can to feature on the next podcast.

Note for Men Living in Tennessee:

The Samson Society Spring Retreat is scheduled for April 15–17. Let us know your thoughts to help us plan. Click here to take a short survey and give us your email address so you can be notified as plans come together.